Sponsored by Lucy Bolin.
Photo courtesy of Lucy Bolin.
When I lived in France, I was frequently asked: "What do you do for a living?" I'm a coach, I'd say. "A coach? Like a sports coach?" It can be sports if becoming fitter or increasing your performance is one of your goals. But, that’s not what I do. "So, what DO you do? Are you a life coach?" I’ve heard that question a lot too, and not just in France.
What Is Coaching?
I understand why people are curious and somewhat confused about what coaching really is. Let’s start with what it isn’t. Coaching is not therapy, counseling or mentoring, but it borrows from these domains and this is what makes it unique. How do you differentiate between all the different types of coaching? I would be puzzled too: life, business, executive, intercultural, success, mindset, confidence and the list goes on—especially since coaching has gained in popularity in recent years.
I am certified in systemic coaching. However, when asked what type of coach I am, I find it helpful to explain who I work with, what I can do for and with them and, most importantly, why. Knowing the why behind what we do is vital to leading a happy and fulfilled life. This may be common knowledge, but, unfortunately, it is not common practice.
I have spent most of my professional life working with expats and professionals in large corporate firms. At the beginning of each workshop, I’d ask them why they did what they did. Those who knew the answer immediately were usually the ones who enjoyed their jobs the most.
Finding What Makes You Unique
I observed that when asked probing questions, participants in my seminars would be more engaged, activate their passive knowledge and retain information more readily. Having come up with the answers themselves, they felt empowered to trust that they knew more than they thought they did. And, in a nutshell, this is what coaching is about, powerful and thought-provoking questions to find the answers and resources that you already possess but cannot always access on your own.
Effective questioning became my trademark, so, based on the positive feedback I received, I did a StrengthsFinder analysis and learned that my top talent was individualization, meaning I'm intrigued by the unique qualities of each person. It is in my DNA to bring out the best in people so they can do more of what they do well. Some call it potential. I call it self-mastery coaching: to be in the driver's seat of your life, thriving instead of just managing. With this vision in mind, I decided to devote more time to coaching.
A Long Journey
But when did it all start? Saying my goodbyes at Warsaw airport and setting off on my first-ever trip abroad at 19, I had no clue that what was supposed to be a one-year stay in Philadelphia and Washington DC would turn into a long-term expat journey.
After leaving the US, I returned to Poland to start my BA in teaching English and completed it in Germany, thanks to the Erasmus student exchange program. Then I was off to the UK where I did my master’s in cross-cultural communication and landed my first non-student jobs at Bosch and Harley Davidson.
Enticed by the opportunity to do a PhD, I accepted a post at a university in Germany. But, after two years, I realized that working in academia was not dynamic enough for me. I moved to Frankfurt and discovered the corporate world of “learning and development” in a fast-paced British recruitment firm which had me deliver workshops not only in Germany, Austria and Switzerland, but also in the UK, Norway, Luxembourg, France, Belgium, Holland, Spain, Ireland, US, Brasil, UAE, Singapore, Japan, India and Australia.
Barcelona Calling
Then one day I got a call from a headhunter, and I just couldn't turn down his offer. A few months later I was on a plane to Barcelona to work as a talent manager for another, even faster-paced company where I put all my skills into practice across sales, IT, marketing, finance and HR.
Barcelona felt like home from day one. I loved the vibe, the architecture, the possibilities. I was ready to settle down. Eager to meet new people, I hopped on the metro one Friday evening to attend an expat networking event and, on getting off the train, I met my now husband.
Though my heart belonged to Barcelona, we moved to the French Riviera when we had our baby. I took an online master’s course with Que Me Pongo, a Barcelona-based image consultancy, to satisfy my curiosity about personal branding, image and style. With the new knowledge I had added to my repertoire, opening my own coaching practice seemed like the logical next step. Having lived in six and worked in 24 countries, on four continents across five industries, I couldn’t have asked for better preparation. Being home with my nine-month old, I thought I couldn't have asked for a better moment to swap my corporate hat for the many different hats of an entrepreneur. However, having to juggle all the roles and struggling to integrate into France, I felt overwhelmed and lonely at the onset of my entrepreneurial journey.
Starting from Scratch
I missed being part of a team, meeting new people from all corners of the globe and learning from them. I wasn’t one of those coaches who “quit corporate to escape the nine-to-five and create a life of freedom and impact.”
Yet, entrepreneurship was calling me. Running my own business takes me outside my comfort zone every day, and this is what I thrive on. The learning is so intense, the versatility of the tasks mind-blowing, the mindset key, the vision vitally important. My coaching business allows me to be the generalist and the expert at the same time. I get to choose who I work with and on what terms. So, yes, I’m enjoying more freedom, but being your own boss does pose challenges, too. If you’re a workaholic or a perfectionist, chances are that running your own business won't change that.
Is Work-Life Balance a Thing?
Striking the right work-life balance is important. But, is there such a thing as work-life balance? Business, work and career are all part of life; they are intertwined. When working with business owners to help them launch their ventures or regain momentum, we discuss life outside of business and look at the two holistically.
Systemic coaching looks at life as a whole. It’s a collaborative approach focusing on improving all the relationships in life, at home, at work and in your community, to have a greater impact and become a better version of yourself. This is my personal philosophy, too, and I share it with my clients.
Across the Globe, across Many Fields
Apart from being expats, just who are my clients? Entrepreneurs, business owners, coaches, engineers, pharmacists, diplomats, PhD researchers, medical doctors and project managers scattered all across the globe with the same single desire: to make the best of this one life leveraging their talents. They are driven, highly-motivated and ambitious. However, due to their high expectations, they can get stuck and lose their sense of direction and meaning if things don’t go according to plan.
Convinced they should be able to figure it all out by themselves, they’re often embarrassed to acknowledge their struggles and too ashamed to reach out for help. As a result, they end up overwhelmed, stressed, disappointed and confused about the next step. Admitting the hardship is often seen as failure in their eyes, so they suffer in silence until they turn to a coach to accompany them and keep them accountable. I’m on a mission to show them that because we are all resourceful individuals, they are capable of embracing change and turning every challenge into an opportunity.
Invest in Yourself
I, too, have a coach. Tony Robbins says “the best of the best have a coach.” Investing in yourself is the best investment. A coach helps to focus on strategies to gain clarity, stay productive, manage stress and continue to excel without losing sight of what's important in life. Lack of confidence, the inner critic and insecurity are part of everyone’s life but there are tools to help us bounce back—or rather “bounce forward”—quickly.
Coaches can also suffer from episodes of self-doubt, lack of focus, procrastination and confusion and can feel overwhelmed. My greatest challenge has been to practice mindfulness throughout all of my transitions. Yoga and running have been my best remedies to being in the moment when “the here” keeps changing and “the now” is blurred with the last place you were in and the next place you’re thinking about.
That’s one of the reasons I yearned to have a more solid base. I considered returning to Poland when I retire, and building a house on the land my dad used to plow. Becoming a mom and shortly thereafter losing my dad accelerated those plans. Then COVID-19 hit and repatriation was an easy decision. Being in Poland now, I’m grateful I can be there for my widowed mom, and the grief is easier to embrace when I can visit my dad’s grave and feel his presence.
I’m living in Gdansk again—20 years, six countries and five languages later—with my own little family next to my larger extended one. As I expand Lucy Bolin Coaching and serve expats across cultures, I look forward to what life has in store and where it will take me next.
You can learn more about Lucy Bolin on her website at lucynabolin.com and connect with her on social media on Instagram: @lucyna.bolin, Facebook and LinkedIn.
Sponsored by Lucy Bolin.